Princess of Theives
by ShiraNation
Summary: What happens when you're not living the fairytale everyone, including yourself, expects you to?


**A/N: Hey readers. I pulled a lot of my inspiration from Disney movies and soundtracks. Lemme know what you think! Favorite parts? Etc.**

Somewhere beyond the lavish forests and gardens, beyond the great stonewall that separated peasants from royals, within the wondrous palace that sheltered few, a despairing princess sighed. "Oh Panda, I don't think I'll ever fall in love with a prince." The young princess sat on the ledge of her window overlooking the townspeople's market, filled with rushing bargain hunters, the shouts of merchants, and shuffling livestock. She shook her brown tresses sullenly and gazed upon the sunrise. "It's hopeless."

A maid with dresses upon dresses overflowing her in her arms dropped her load onto the bedspread to comfort the girl. "Oh hush princess, that's absolute nonsense! I'm sure he's out there somewhere waiting to sweep you off your feet." She tapped the princess's feet for emphasis. "He's going to be glorious: broad shoulders, rugged chin, beautiful smile, royal garb, thousands of servants and a grand palace in some exotic land. He'll be absolutely dreamy," she sighed blissfully.

"But Panda, that's exactly the problem. I don't want brutish muscles, sandpaper chin, smarmy smile, excessive jewels, and power hungry _man _for the rest of my life."

"That's just silly; he'll only show the qualities of an outstanding and honorable royal!" Sometimes Panda's total naivety annoyed the princess. All she could manage was a groan in response. "Well then what _do _you want, princess?"

"I want... I want to marry a-"

Just as Emily was about to confess her deepest, darkest secret to Panda, her twin sister, Katie, barged into her bedroom. "He proposed! Danny and I are getting married!"

"To that moron?!" Emily shouted, somewhat shocked.

"He's not a moron! He's charming, rich, good-looking, and has his own palace! And as far as I'm aware, that's better than the absolute zero proposals you've got."

"You can't just marry someone for what they've got Katie; how do you expect to have conversations?"

"We talk about each other! He, like, totally compliments me all the time." Katie smiled.

"What about when he gets old and wrinkly? What then of his good-looks?"

"That's absurd, I'm sure he'll die in war before then, by which time I'll have a new handsome husband, even richer than the first!"

Emily rolled her eyes, "You know what's really absurd?

"What?"

"I think you're going to be perfect to each other."

"Aw, thank you sis!" She hugged her sister tightly for a brief second before noticing the maid was in the room. "Pandora, will you have my afternoon ready in an hour and my dress for tonight set on my bed, and clean the fixtures in my room, they're getting a bit dusty."

"Absolutely, princess!" Panda chirped.

"Well then, I best be off now, I've got to get started on my makeup! Danny is coming over before the ball!" She held her dress in her hands so as not to trip and began to strut away. "Oh and Emily, please try to behave yourself at the party tonight. We're identical, right, and I don't want the guests to accidentally think that _I'm _the bad one." As soon as Katie closed the double doors behind herself Emily grabbed the pillow beside her and threw it at the door.

"Ughhhh! She's so stupid! Who the fuck does she think she is, calling me the _bad _one?! I'm not the shallow girl using another guy for riches, fame, and sex!"

"Shh, anger is no way for a princess such as yourself to act."

"Fuck that. I'm going to go out for a bit."

"Oh, princess, would you like me to prepare your 'out' clothes?"

"No, I've got it." Emily left Panda to return to her chores. Normally the princess would have insisted on doing them herself but she needed to escape the aggravation of her household. Her sister's engagement only further elevated her frustration in her own inability to settle for marrying a prince. She entered her walk-in closet filled with poofy dresses, all the way to the back, where a chest lay hidden beneath some shelving. She pulled it out and opened it.

Inside was a worn brown cloth and tight leather pants. Around the shirt she wore a loose belt. Emily pulled the hood over her head and took one look in her mirror. She wondered how different her life would be if she were the prince out fighting dragons and slaying pirates, going on all sorts of adventures; if she were a man she would have the respect of her peers and would not be expected to act like a lady.

Instead of continuing to sadly dwell on her dreams, Emily grabbed her bow and quiver full of arrows and put them on. Next she climbed out the window, jumping from balcony to balcony, making sure to avoid the guards, aside from the ones she had bribed with treasures long ago to make sure she was never reported. When she reached ground level she remained in the shadows and headed toward the outskirts of the city toward where the middle-class and lower-class lived, home to the townspeople's market.

With her hair tied back, hooded silhouette and baggy clothes she managed to pull of the looks of a young gentleman. She had a naturally hoarse voice that allowed her to talk without sounding distinctly feminine. She blended into the crowd of swiftly passing families and strangers, each with their own daily agenda. This was her greatest adrenaline rush. She decided to up the ante a bit more when she saw a poor family begging a merchant for food. The merchant immediately called for the guards to "remove the dirt from his shop." Among the ruckus, Emily managed to swipe a few apples into her large pockets away from the distracted merchant's food stand.

The family was shooed away and harassed by the guards until they were closer to the outskirts of the stonewall that encircled the city. Emily approached them and the mother and father stood in front of their children protectively, noticing Emily's weapon. "Please, we won't bother anyone, we were just hungry!" protested the mother fearfully.

Emily reached into her pockets and pulled out the apples. "Why are you mocking us?" the father cried. "We haven't had anything other than scraps of rubbish in days." Emily felt terrible for them, remembering that she lived with access to excessive foods of any type she wished while there were people within the city that starved.

"No, take them," she said. "They are for you."

The father and mother immediately got down on their knees. "Thank you! Thank you so much!" they were crying out their gratitude for as long as Emily would permit. She noticed actual tears of happiness pour down the children's faces. The princess felt heartbroken.

"Stop, just take them." She needed to escape the reality of the injustice before she accidentally exposed herself. But instead as she wandered off into an alleyway she was grabbed by a bunch of men.

"Well, well, what have we got here? A Robin Hood of Bristol, eh?"

"Let me go!" she shouted. "What do you want? Gold? I have gold, you insufferable thieves! Release me!"

The leader of the pack had muscles, a smile of crooked teeth, and messy brown hair. His counterpart, holding Emily, was a lanky, olive-skinned fellow, with long black hair. The third man had thick brown curls, was significantly less intimidating than the other two, carrying a bard's lute.

"We don't want your gold this time, mate. We just want to know why you do what you do so we can award ya for being a decent human being."

"What?!" Emily was shocked.

"Na, I'm just kidding; we want your gold." He snickered.

"Well, I have none on me so you're going to have to let me go."

"Check the bloke's pockets, Jay. Ya betta not be lyin' to me, mate."

The curly-haired guy reached down into her deep pockets uncomfortably and found nothing. "Nothing, boss."

"Fuck's sake. Not again..." Cook mumbled.

"Way to cock up again, Cook." The lanky boy cursed.

"How was I supposed to know someone who can afford to give to the poor ain't rich?" Cook grimaced.

"I dunno."

"Maybe he felt bad and gave 'em all he got," Jay offered.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. How'd ya do it, mate? Why'd ya do it?"

"I thought you didn't want to know." Emily smirked.

"Look smartass, we wanted your gold, but you ain't got no gold. You haven't even got any more apples. Now tell us where the fuck you got them apples from if your a poor little sod."

"I stole them."

"Ah, that makes sense," said Jay.

"Oi! Didn't you call_ us_ insufferable _theives?_" The lanky boy asked.

"Um, well... yes," Emily groaned. She could not believe she was having a conversation with a bunch of stupid thieves about morals and such. They seemed like the worst thieves in all of England. "But like _you _said, it was done to give to the poor."

"How do we know you didn't just decide to give it to them after you stole 'em? Huh? Rather than with the intention of giving 'em to the poor? How do we know you're a true good guy?"

"You'll just have to trust me," Emily stated.

"Why should we trust you?" Cook asked.

"Because clearly, I managed to steal some apples, and you've managed to steal nothing. I'm a better thief. That's why you should trust me."

"But why would we trust a thief? Isn't that the opposite of what we should do if you're a better thief? That would mean your more deceptive than us and more likely to be lying," said Jay.

"Okay! Everyone shut the fuck up! I'm gettin' confused," Cook ordered. "Let me think."

After a few moments the lanky boy broke the silence. "So what're we going to do with him?"

"I said shutup, Freddie, I'm thinking..." Cook leaned against the wall of the alleyway. "How about you join us, mate? You can help us steal and stuff."

"What's in it for me?" Emily contested.

"We won't beat you up." The three thieves said together as if they had rehearsed it.

"Deal." Emily knew that was her only way of them not discovering who she was. Otherwise her hood might come off and they might see her long hair and realize she was the princess. Besides, she would be able to escape them for a bit and would never have to see them again. She would just have to be careful to avoid the alleyways next time she decided to go out into the city.

Freddie released Emily. "Welcome to the gang."

Emily smiled. For some odd reason she almost wanted to be a part of the gang. Maybe it was because, raised as a royal, she had no opportunity to be a part of any other group other than just as a woman or princess. Maybe she would consider being an honest member if they offered the profits of their successful endeavors to those in poverty. She knew that would be a lot more likely than her mother, the queen (because she somehow had more say than the king), ever agreeing to cut back from her goods to offer them to those in need.

"So, I've got to go, but where do you meet tomorrow?"

"Where have you got to go?"

She could not tell them she had a ball to go to in her alternate reality so instead she made up an excuse. "I have a brother I need to take care of." Emily figured she had a younger brother, so she wasn't exactly lying, even though he didn't really need her to take care of him.

"Oh, wow. I've got a younger brother too, Paddy," Cook said.

"Yeah, well, then you understand." Emily nodded.

"Right. We'll meet by the bell tower at sunrise tomorrow."

"Alright. See you then." And with that Emily vanished beyond the alley into the crowd of people once again until she returned to her place in the palace.


End file.
